Feeling lost and numb can be a distressing and overwhelming experience. This can cause disconnection from yourself and the world around you, making it difficult to find purpose or direction in life. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that you are not alone in this experience. Many people encounter these emotions at some point in their lives, and there are ways to manage and move forward.
Today I am penning down some of the hardest feelings that I have ever felt in my life. What are these feelings like? Well! They are suffocating, frustrating, depressing and many more N number of names that I can give them.
The fears we don’t face become our limits.
Amy Elizabeth
It has been more than 2 months I have lost my only son. And while I write this article I can feel a deep pain below my chest which can’t be expressed in words. In fact nothing of this sort could be ever explained even in the slightest form in words.
Everyday I just keep thinking why did he went away? Why did he left us alone? And there are a list of Y’s; of which I will never get an answer. Every single day there are many periods of numbness when I just feel numb, nothing else. In those moments, I want to feel something but I don’t; even If I try hard, I don’t.
No parent should ever go through this phase. Feeling lost is like being a puzzle piece without a puzzle, searching for a place to fit in and make sense of the bigger picture
It’s hard, very very hard to see the still face of your child with their eyes closed, mouth shut. The face which used to lit with laughs and giggles, the person who never used to stay calm for 1 seconds, who continuously used to move around messing the whole house with toys and things will never move again, will never laugh again, will never say NO to you again. it’s hard.
My Journey
My name is Juhi, I stay in Pune, a city in India. We shifted just 4 months back from Ahmedabad, which is also a city in India in another state. We shifted with the hope for a better life. But little did we know that the “Life of our Lives” will be gone. When I conceived my son, I left my career behind just to be with him. The job that I was doing from five years was suddenly gone.
And suddenly here I am jobless; left with nothing but to think and cry whole day. If you are reading this and want to know why I am writing all these things. Let me tell you that I also don’t have an exact answer for this. Navigating through a dense fog without a map or compass can feel like being lost, where every step forward brings uncertainty and every direction appears equally obscure.
One side of my consciousness is thinking that there might be some parent out who after reading this will know that they are not alone to feel this way. They are not crazy (which I feel nowadays) to have such thoughts. After all we have lost the source of love and joy in our lives.
While other side of my consciousness just wants to write these feelings so that my heart is relieved a bit.
His Name Was Riyansh, We Used To Call Him Banku.
Cherish the Memories
The pain of losing a child is unimaginable. The thought of seeing their still, lifeless body with closed eyes and a shut mouth is heart-wrenching. It is a painful reminder of the lively, energetic and happy child they used to be. The one who used to laugh and play, and fill the house with their endless energy, will never be there again. Feeling lost is a normal part of the human experience, and it can often lead to growth and self-discovery. Trust yourself and take small steps towards finding your way, and eventually you will find a path that feels right for you.
The grief and sorrow that come with losing a child can be overwhelming, and the reality of their absence can be hard to accept. However, in this dark moment, it is important to hold on to the memories of their joy, laughter, and love. They may no longer be physically present, but their spirit and essence will always be with us. We must cherish the moments we had with them, and keep their memory alive. Losing a child is an unimaginable loss, but their legacy can live on forever.
